Literally there is no man here that i have even the slightest bit of interest towards despite all their LAME ass attempts to get my attention.
I suppose even in University the maturity level of the male species is still at a stand still.
Which is Sad really.
Anyhoot. Its no biggie. Less temptations means more study time! LOL
which i should probably get started on.

Something haooened recently though. I have been trying very hard to not let it bug me.
But almost every lone moment i have i spend thinking about what happened.
how did it come to this when my life has no purpose other than to fulfill my own selfish desires.
I miss my family.
I did them wrong.
I oughta know better.
But there are just somethings i can't change.
I am still the same person. Just with a bad habit or two. No one is ever completly perfect right.
i miss them.
Not having a home to go back to is really depressing.
Not having a mother to turn to is really insane.
Not having anyone that can emphatise with my state just goes to show how far i have strayed.
Its sad really.

I am keeping myself preoccupied though.
Uni life is anything but exciting.
But it'll have to do is suppose.
Thank god for my weekends when i get to run further away from my problems and just soak in the reality of the moments with the people i care about.

Its hard really to adjust to the change in cultures here. But it isn't impossible either.
I am adapting and soaking as much of the good.
Its hard to change what i have become.
Its not easy for me to be ok in a place that is so foreign to me.

Struggling to survive.
Continuosly thinking of ways to make do with my situations.
I thank GOD ( the big person upstairs) for always sending people in my life to keep an eye for me. U know who u are. People i adore and care very dearly about regardless of the short time we've gotten to know each other.
*hugs*
Moving on. and Staying strong.
New places means new oppurtunites.
whatever it is. As long as i know what i am doing then i oughta be ok.

I miss u ma.
I miss u ben.

I am doing my very best to be all that u want me to be. I have made some good choices and some bad.
But all of them make up who i am.
I don't blame u if its too much for u to accept.
I know for myself that despite all of your shortcomings i will never love u guys any less.
I wish the same kind of love could be shown on to me.

FYI: I am in UPM, Serdang doing BAC. Comm.
I am smoking now. but in the process of quiting.
I am home less at this point of time.
Yet i am making the best of it.
I am an aunt now!

Pray my education loans get approved.
Pray things in my life start looking up.
Most of all, have compassion for the less fortunate. You never quite realise how difficult it is to survive in this world untill you are all alone.

Loves!


-Anya-